We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
