He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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