Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
