i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its not stalking. its research.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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