i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
