I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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