This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
