I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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