Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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