My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
