You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dick very happy bro
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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