Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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