Non-Jews are for practice
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
