Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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