i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize