its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize