you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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