I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
