I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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