Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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