whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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