I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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