FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
