Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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