But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
