So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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