I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I looked at my own cervix.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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