Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
