He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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