but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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