Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
