I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
