I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
