I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize