Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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