she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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