Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
