so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
