Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize