Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need a beard to bite.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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