so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We have started to decorate penises.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
