You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
