the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
