she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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