ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize