I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she pinky promised me she was 18
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
