Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
