If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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