so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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