I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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