Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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