there's paper in my vomit.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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