i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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