dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
