how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
