My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize