As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
