My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
